Why You Don’t Want an Executive Coach

Everyone’s a “coach” these days. There’s the fluffy life coach who can’t take a stand and push back because everyone is right, the try-hard coach certified online who assigns podcasts like you’re in a class, or the “perfect” online influencer who critically points the finger at others to district away from their trainwreck of a life. You can set the “smart” goal with the disciplinarian coach, “start with the why” like the podcast coach assigns, or feel really good about yourself after a session with the congratulatory coach – but chances are you will continue to do what you’ve done before. It’s no wonder why you don’t want an executive coach.

I’m a licensed psychologist who leads the executive coaching practice at the leadership consulting firm CMA. Yes, I am calling foul on my own field of work, and yes, I’m using a reverse psychology tactic to camouflage a coaching sales pitch. Let me admit that improving ourselves is extraordinarily hard, and helping others improve is even harder. CMA has 23 PhD’s who take a full day every month to share insights, and we use psychological assessments and job simulations to examine leadership talent at the microscopic level, yet we still struggle to figure out how to help people improve. If I’m wrong, which I often am, and you are considering an executive coach, allow me to offer some suggestions:

• The coach will undoubtedly discuss your leadership behaviors, so work with an expert in human behavior – someone who is highly trained in psychology. Also, choose a coach who can nag you a bit, since we all need some accountability to embed new behaviors into your daily life.
• Knowing is not doing, and doing is not the cure. Don’t fall for “fake work” that seems productive but doesn’t uncover the syndrome underneath the symptoms.
• Face your fear: Stop hiding from being out of controlling others too much, quit overworking to avoid feeling close and vulnerable, and accept confusion by not acting so certain. If you don’t face your fear, you miss out on the painful and scary corrective experience that will powerfully drive your evolution.
• Discover your internal baggage. Inside of us is a self-contained relationship pattern ready to play itself out through others, and we have a drive to confirm our pre-existing experience of what it’s like to be “me.” The key is to take off your glasses made by your life history, “watch the movie” to see what is your fault, take responsibility and practice accordingly, and accept the rest.

If this speaks to you, or you wish this spoke to someone who works for you, then reach out to CMA to learn more about executive coaching and leadership assessment.